I'm A Cyborg, But That's OK by Park Chan-Wook

Who would've thought that the director of Oldboy would come out with a film that has joined my (very) short list of 'ROMANTIC FILMS THAT REALLY DON'T SUCK'? Starring Rain, no less.

Anyway the premise of the film is very endearing, two mental patients fall in love. One thinks she's a cyborg, the other is convinced he can steal anything (including personality traits and abilities).

Im Su-jeong really shines as Young-goon, the cyborg. She's really too cute to not fall in love with. Rain also holds up pretty well as Il-soon, the unbelievably hot thief. Ye gods, these two falling in love in a mental institution! Two hot like fire people who are crazy falling in love and literally creating their own world in their own little heads!

How can I not love such a premise?? Seriously, if most people's idea of a romantic fantasy is When Harry Met Sally, this is totally mine.

Sadly, the actual film-making does nothing more than serve to present this premise in a rather utilitarian manner. Ok, maybe it also serves as a vehicle for Rain (SUPER HOT) but, seriously, even Initial D was a bit more adventurous with their material. It kind of disappoints, especially since the director is Park Chan-Wook, that the film remained a sweet little love-letter and not something more. Perhaps not heavier but a bit more... transcendental.

But still, it is the best on-screen romance I've seen since Casablanca (don't knock it, love and politics is really sexy in a dramatic way) and the only (ugh) Romantic Comedy that was really an escapist vicarious enjoyment-type thing like 'Oh-I-Wish-My-Life-Could-Be-Like-This' for me like so many crappy others are for so many other people.

Sigh.

How am I going to find a Korean/Chinese pop-star-type to come and sweep me off my feet if they're all in mental institutions? That's it. I'm checking in to wait for my Jay Chou to arrive.

Chipster Potato Chips

If you've known me long enough, you obviously know that I love potato chips and that my favourite potato chips are Jack N Jill Salsa Chilli flavour, which I can eat bags of, in lieu of lunch/dinner/meal whatever. In fact, one of the few lingering memories of secondary school for me was of buying a big bag of that and loudly declaring to my friend that lunch was stupid, who needs lunch when you have potato chips? They are the only potato chips that have both enough salt and spiciness for me. Jack N Jill Salsa Chilli potato chips is truly an exquisite blend of artificial flavourings, sodium and MSG. Beautiful.

When that brand is not available though, I go for Calbee Hot & Spicy potato chips, which are artificially coloured a fetching shade of crimson. Although the spiciness of Calbee surpasses Jack N Jill, there was always something missing from the flavour. It felt like it was lacking something that made junk-food fun. That twang on the tongue caused by, probably, too much sodium. As such, although I enjoyed it, it was always treated as second-class. An inferior substitute.

I have flirted with various others, having short but intense love-affairs with Lay's KC Sauce Barbecue-flavoured chips and Kettle's Honey Djion (which was, admittedly, a subset of my passion for all things Honey Mustard), but these pale in comparison to what I have just discovered. My new-found love is no schoolgirl crush.

I am referring, of course, to the new line of potato chips launched by Twisties (love their curry and tomato flavours BTW) called (inanely) Chipster. In particular, their Hot & Spicy flavour which manages to capture all my favourite notes of the Jack N Jill and Calbee versions (and add a twist of Lay's and Kettle's sweetness) and remake it into something excitingly new but wonderfully familiar. It is actually spicier than the fever-inducing Calbees but balances it with a little tomato that really goes a long way. It's so wonderful that even though a not-so-large bag costs the way-too-much price of 1.95 at 7/11, it doesn't seem a wasted purchase to me at all and will probably become the new fixture at my bedside, the essential supper-snack.

Chipster potato chips. A masterpiece of Junk Food engineering.

Still Fantasy by Jay Chou

Yè De Dì Qī Zhāng really opens the album on a high note, I feel. I don't know anything about the previous song that he so-called ripped off but since it was my first time listening to those melodies, I was very impressed. I thought the arrangement was perfect. Atmospheric, moody with a great build-up to Jay finally singing the chorus. A perfect introduction.

Tīng Mā Ma De Huà was a bit disappointing after such a great first song but it's almost impossible not to like a song like that (it's like all cutesy or whatever plus it's about mothers... Chinese people all love their mothers apparently). It does its job pretty well and keeps the standards high before being completely upstaged by Qiān Li Zhī Wài, a duet which is really one of the high points of this album. The only way to describe this song is beautiful. The melody is really sweet without dipping into the saccharine of the previous song.

Sadly from this peak, the whole album kind of slumps downhill. Běn Cao Gāng Mù is alright but feels kind of uninspired. Tuì Hòu, Xīn Yu and Bái Sè Fēng Chē all feel really interchangable and made for Karaoke, lacking the special something that made a lot of Jay's previous ballads enjoyable, if not outright moving. Hóng Mó Fǎng stands out as the only song in this mess that reaches the standards set by the opening tracks.

But all is not lost! After two boring K-tracks, you get slapped across the face with Mí Dié Xiāng. From cookie-cutter KTV Jay to Bossanova?! Way to contrast! Not to mention that it's a pretty passable track at that! What?! And before you have time to recover from that, suddenly, the whole album is lifted into the transcendental realm with that gem that is Jú Huā Tái, where Jay tries to write a classical chinese song and meets WILD SUCCESS. The vocals on Jú Huā Tái are enunciated with a precision and care never before heard on any of his tracks, the arrangement is glorius and the melody is... one of the best I've ever heard.

But then again, I might just be a know-nothing (quarter-Chinese) Orientalist HELL BENT ON LOVING JAY CHOU.

If I am not the above, however, my point might be that Jú Huā Tái practically redeems the entire album of its THREE TERRIBLE crap-ballads (add to the redemption Yè De Dì Qī Zhāng and Qiān Li Zhī Wài and hey, it's a good deal really) and hopefully there's something in my crap-review (LIFE) of similar (relative) worth... But probably not.