I'm A Cyborg, But That's OK by Park Chan-Wook

Who would've thought that the director of Oldboy would come out with a film that has joined my (very) short list of 'ROMANTIC FILMS THAT REALLY DON'T SUCK'? Starring Rain, no less.

Anyway the premise of the film is very endearing, two mental patients fall in love. One thinks she's a cyborg, the other is convinced he can steal anything (including personality traits and abilities).

Im Su-jeong really shines as Young-goon, the cyborg. She's really too cute to not fall in love with. Rain also holds up pretty well as Il-soon, the unbelievably hot thief. Ye gods, these two falling in love in a mental institution! Two hot like fire people who are crazy falling in love and literally creating their own world in their own little heads!

How can I not love such a premise?? Seriously, if most people's idea of a romantic fantasy is When Harry Met Sally, this is totally mine.

Sadly, the actual film-making does nothing more than serve to present this premise in a rather utilitarian manner. Ok, maybe it also serves as a vehicle for Rain (SUPER HOT) but, seriously, even Initial D was a bit more adventurous with their material. It kind of disappoints, especially since the director is Park Chan-Wook, that the film remained a sweet little love-letter and not something more. Perhaps not heavier but a bit more... transcendental.

But still, it is the best on-screen romance I've seen since Casablanca (don't knock it, love and politics is really sexy in a dramatic way) and the only (ugh) Romantic Comedy that was really an escapist vicarious enjoyment-type thing like 'Oh-I-Wish-My-Life-Could-Be-Like-This' for me like so many crappy others are for so many other people.

Sigh.

How am I going to find a Korean/Chinese pop-star-type to come and sweep me off my feet if they're all in mental institutions? That's it. I'm checking in to wait for my Jay Chou to arrive.

Rinne (Re-incarnation)

Rinne, the 2005 offering by Ju-on director Takashi Shimuzu, is one of those films where it's really hard to tell whether it's good or bad.

On one hand, there's a great russian-doll-like storyline, amazingly atmospheric shots and the creepiest doll in the whole fucking world of movies. On the other hand, the pacing is sluggish, the narratives confusing and there are just too many great moments left unexploited. The plot revolves around one of the actresses in a film being made about a murder that happened in a hotel a long time ago who feels like she's a re-incarnation of one of the victims in the actual event. Simple, silly but after the plot twist (of course) it actually works amazingly well and brings up questions of, how do I put this, taking responsibility for one's past life? Haha. The first three-quarters of the film are pretty ridiculous though falling short of Kansen-standard ridiculous but the sheer beauty of a twist pulled off right kind of absolves the stupidity. It's really like a paradigm shift instead of a stupid 'gotcha'.

One also gets the feeling that Shimuzu is way too ambitious for his boots. The film tries to tackle all sorts of psuedo-philosophical issues with little success (but with more success than Kansen) because of the lack of breadth in his direction. It gives the whole thing a kind of tacky, amateurish feel where it could have been a strong, solid horror film if he had only tried to do a little less.

But still, in the last quarter everything becomes ten times more entertaining. I would actually recommend the film if only for those last twenty minutes or so. But the crappy thing is, you have to sit through the first hour or so because if not everything just doesn't make sense. I leave it up to you to decide whether it's worth your time.

Hannibal Rising

Oh dear. What a way to kick off the movie reviews, with a trashy mainstream film that's not even recent. Well, this is what you get when you stack up your library fines and they bar you from borrowing until you pay up. That said, let's get to it.

I picked Hannibal Rising out of my dusty, mountainous pile of cheap unwatched DVDs on a whim and stuck it into my DVD player fully expecting to hate it. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that I did not end up hating up. I didn't end up actually liking it either but at least... you know. It's not all that bad.

Hannibal Rising, in case you didn't know, is based on the first (in the fictional chronology) of Thomas Harris' tetralogy of serial killer novels and the first one to focus on the character of Hannibal Lecter, who in the the other books is a peripheral character, though easily the most memorable.

Anyway, why am I rambling on backstorily about this as if you, dear reader, have been living under a rock or something? On to the film!

Again, I was fully expecting to hate it. The 'hype-feel' that I got from Hannibal Rising was kind of similar to the one surrounding Memoirs Of A Geisha (which I absolutely despised) and the very color of the film convinced me I was on the road to hell.

But, as it continued, I realised that the editing was actually pretty solid, without any random and weird jumps in continuity and also that the treatment of the film served to create a pretty enjoyable atmosphere. So what went wrong? Ha. Ha. Ha.

THE ACTING.

Hahahahaa. Oh my god. The acting was hilarious. Imagine forcing every single person involved in the film to speak with a fake Russian accent. Umm... yeah I guess they forced everyone in the film to speak with a fake Russian accent. Except Gong Li who is barely intelligible through her fake Japanese schmaltz. It's insane. And it's actually not as bad as having the editing screw up because the plot, with it's air of self-righteous seriousness and themes of 'WHAT IS BARBARISM'?? is MADE TO BE CAMPY. And the acting totally kicks everything in the pants and brings the whole edifice crashing down on everyone's heads.

So, in a nutshell. I didn't hate Hannibal Rising because the acting sucked balls. END.